August 22

The Reason Why You’re Struggling to Be Consistent (And How to Fix It)

90  comments

“It’s a simple and generous rule of life that whatever you practice, you will improve at. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

See if this sounds familiar to you.

You become fixated on some desired outcome: a healthier body, better relationships, or new skills.

You join the gym, buy a personal development course, or take up the cello.

For the first ten days or so, driven by your motivation to meet your goal, you work on your new passion every single day. But then you gradually start skipping your practice. A day here. A day there. Before you know it, the gym membership has lapsed, you’ve given up on your coursework, and your cello is in the closet collecting dust.

And the cycle begins all over again.

This is how most of us live our lives, including me. Our lack of consistency can be incredibly frustrating and painful. We know that consistency is the key to progress in all areas of our lives, but somehow we continue to falter. The only thing you find yourself being consistent at is starting something, then stopping before you get any results.

You may beat yourself up for this, but there’s hope. Hope comes from first understanding why we fall into these cycles and then taking the necessary steps to overcome the potential pitfalls.

The reason why you’re struggling to be consistent

Ready for the answer?

You’re focused on the outcome rather than the process.

This is not to say that the outcome is not important, but if we become fixated on outcome, it will work against us, no matter how compelling. Why? Because any outcome compelling enough to excite you is probably one that won’t be achieved without hard work and sacrifice over a long period of time. Without certain processes in place to help us, most of us aren’t able to maintain the effort needed to accomplish these outcomes.

The plan

If you want to achieve your desired outcomes, you must build consistency into your plan. But before we get to that, we need to define the plan. For me the plan consists of four parts:

  1. Identifying the desired outcome (e.g. “I want to become fit”).
  2. Identifying the big “why” behind your desired outcome (e.g. “By becoming healthy in mind and body, I will have the energy to meet the physical, spiritual, and emotional needs of my loved ones”).
  3. Setting goals that will gradually get you to your desired outcome (e.g. Lose 10 pounds in 30 days).
  4. Developing processes to accomplish these goals. (e.g. 3 mile run 5 days a week).

I’ll focus primarily on the fourth step of the plan because it’s most relevant to the idea of developing consistency. It’s in this fourth step where most good intentions fall apart.

How to become more consistent

I started this blog in order to help myself and others live with greater purpose and meaning. Accomplishing this goal meant developing a consistent writing habit. To say this is a challenge would be a gross understatement. Even now, I struggle to write as regularly as I would like. But I have improved over time to take my writing habit to the next level.

As I share my strategy for becoming a more consistent writer, think of how my story might apply to your own situation.

Here are the steps:

1. Be present

In the simplest terms, being present means being fully engaged in the task at hand. It means quieting our tendency to waste mental, spiritual, and emotional energy worrying about past or future things — none of which we have the ability to control.

As a writer, being present begins with minimizing distractions. This means waking up early before the rest of the household. It means staying away from the internet and putting away my phone or setting it to “do not disturb.”

But most importantly, it means quieting my mind that says things like:

“What if nobody likes or reads this post?”
“What if readers discover embarrassing spelling or grammatical errors?”
“What if someone is offended by something I wrote?”

Instead of allowing these thoughts to stop me from writing that day, I quietly acknowledge them and let them go. Then I sit down and write.

2. Anticipate the Dip

Most of us go into new endeavors believing that the path to our desired outcome is straightforward and clear. The amazing thing is that we believe this even when we know better from past experience. In his book The Dip, Seth Godin says that anything worth pursuing will have a messy middle.

What makes the Dip even more challenging is that it typically hits after a period of initial success. This serves as a natural barrier to separate the quitters from those who go on to experience extraordinary success. Quitting is not a bad thing in itself. In fact, the whole purpose of the book is to help the reader know what to quit so they can focus their efforts on the things worth pursuing.

By anticipating the Dip, I was acknowledging that if I wanted to become a consistent writer, I would need to decide ahead of time what to do when it showed up. If the answer was “I would quit,” then you probably would not be reading this blog post today. Instead, I felt that my desired outcome and my big “why” for writing would keep me going when times got tough. So far, so good.

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3. Uninspired? Do it anyway

Here’s an example of what it’s like when I’m trudging through the Dip. I wake up at 5:30 a.m. After a few minutes of prayer and meditation I sit at my computer to write. Thirty minutes later, the page is still blank because I can’t decide what to write about. I start surfing the web looking for anything that would spark an idea or inspire me. Another thirty minutes pass. I’m still surfing the web. And I haven’t written a thing.

This happened to me a lot in the beginning of my blogging journey. I would go for days like this, with very little to show for the effort.

Now, instead of waiting for inspiration (or looking for it on the internet) before giving myself permission to write, I just write. Every single day. I’ve tried doing this before but did not keep it up because if I did not reach 1000 words a day, I would consider that effort a failure.

Now, I worry less about word count and more about developing a rhythm of writing daily. Sometimes it’s 100 words, sometimes it’s 300, and sometimes it’s 1000. Some days I write complete nonsense. Other times I can write a post worthy of publishing (in my mind) in one sitting.

In the end, the only thing that matters is that I write every single day, rain or shine.

Uninspired? Hit the gym anyway.
Uninspired? Kiss your spouse anyway.
Uninspired? Write that report anyway.

Do this long enough and inspiration will come rushing in behind you and knock you off your feet.

4. Go back to basics

In any pursuit, most of us are eager to rush through the basics to get to the more exciting advanced stuff. But when we don’t spend enough time mastering the fundamentals, we can easily become discouraged by advanced tactics and strategies.

These things are undoubtedly important, but they can often distract us from the basic skills that must be mastered in order to gain traction and experience success.

When it comes to blog writing, I go back to the basics regularly. How do I write a compelling headline? Or an opening that will draw the reader in? Or good subheadings to make sure the reader keeps reading? Doing this allows me to continually hone my writing craft. The measurable progress I make keeps me inspired and keeps me writing.

5. Find an accountability partner

My wife loves my blog posts (not just because she’s my wife 🙂 ) and expects to see them land in her email inbox every Thursday morning. If I don’t produce, I’ll need to explain to her why I didn’t show up that particular week. Ok, it’s not that dramatic, but in a way, I am accountable to her and every other regular reader who expect me to deliver a post every week.

You don’t need to broadcast your intentions to the whole world to be accountable. Select one or two trusted friends to share your goal. Give them your timeline and ask them to hold you accountable. This can be a real game changer.

6. Forgive yourself and move on

This one is so important because we often beat ourselves up when we fail to follow through on our plan. Some resist setting goals and making plans to avoid this unpleasant experience altogether.

But instead of avoiding this reality, understand that it’s simply part of the game. For instance, as I mentioned above, my goal is to write at least 100 words every single day. The bragging rights alone is a powerful motivator to nail this goal 100% of the time. But I don’t.

I miss days here and there when life happens. I used to beat myself up over those missed days. Now I just say, “Ok, you’ve missed a day of writing. Start writing again tomorrow.” If I happen to have ten minutes to spare in that moment, I open up my laptop and begin writing.

In the past, missing a day of writing could demotivate me to the point where I wouldn’t write for 3 or 4 days. I was effectively punishing myself for missing the first day by missing even more days. It made no sense. Forgiving myself and moving on allows me to recover from setbacks faster than before.

Find Joy in the Process

Are you ready to start making traction in your endeavors?

Be consistent.

Be present, expect hardships, and do the work.

Take your health, your relationships, your career to the next level.

And enjoy the ride on your way there.

General FAQ



Why is it so hard to be consistent?


It’s hard to be consistent because we tend to focus on the outcome more than the process. Put another way, we’re more drawn to the positive feelings of outcomes rather than the struggle of the journey. Most of us quit during the struggle before we can experience the rewards of staying the course.


How can I become more consistent?


Commit to the process you have identified for achieving your goals no matter how you’re feeling on any given day. Start with smaller goals such as waking up 5-10 minutes earlier each day and committing to getting out of bed no matter how you feel.


How can I stay motivated when I begin to struggle?


Understand that the path to your goals is not straight. Anticipate what Seth Godin calls “The Dip,” i.e. setbacks, lack of motivation, unforeseen challenges. Decide ahead of time what you you will do when the Dip shows up. If you want to be consistent, decide to persevere through the dip. How do you do that? To quote a certain company, “Just do it!”

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  • Hello Cylon,
    Thank you very much for this – am so glad I’m not the only one with a messy middle!
    While it is encouraging to have a shiny inspiring vision of one’s goal, without the routine work to get to it, then our vision recedes and fades into invisibility.
    I am very grateful for your insights on this topic – it has helped me immensely (as usual, I have to get over myself).
    Cheers and thanks for your hard work every week.

  • I love the strategies you’ve included in this Cylon, such good tips for those of us who are rather good at being consistently inconsistent! Like you, I started a writing habit as my first act of the day, getting up at 5am and writing from a list of ideas which add two to each evening. And what a difference. I can’t say I love the early start yet but I’ve been amazed at how quickly the ability to write with flow has happened. And I totally agree that focusing on the outcome is a success-knobbler for sure. Thank you for the reminder that the dip will come and it’s nothing to get hung up about.

  • Hi Cylon,
    This article really resonated with me. I found it at the right time. There are so many ventures that I have pursued this year alone and have already fallen off. I’m going to follow the strategy that you are using to become a consistent writer and implement into my plan of action. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

  • Lovely to read this post again with its valuable guidance.
    I forgive myself for having been so inconsistent (lazy). Silly me.
    Thanks, Cylon. Have a good week.

  • Cylon this is like a breath of fresh air. You’ve presented a new way of thinking for me. Now I see it all begins from the way we think. I am in the entertainment industry and this helps alot in consistency. This not only helps writers but all career paths. Thank you for writing this article.

  • Hi Cylon, loved this article. This is exactly what I wanted to hear, I hope I will be able to apply these strategies. I feel that I have too many ideas at one time that keeps me jumping from one to the other.
    Thank you

  • Thank you so much .. I love to write but unfortunately I end up with blank page. I hope i will be able to make an effort through basics thanks.

  • I have read this article four time and I love it so much, it’s life changing. Am would appreciate anything about discipline. Thank you very much looking forward for more encouragement from you Mr George

    • Thank you for your kind comment…so lovely to hear that you come back to this post!! Great questions about discipline. I guess you have to have discipline to be consistent but not always. For instance, you can consistently eat three bags of candy everyday but no one would say you do this in a disciplined way. Therefore, discipline assumes a level of self-control generally aimed toward some positive goal or end. Discipline and consistency go hand in hand to help you achieve your goals. Hope this helps!

  • Cyclon. This was absolutely mind blowing! I’ve been suffering from inconsistency for YEARS and never really tackled the issue. I’ve just attacked myself for failing again. Once I’ve discovered I need to face this head on I found your article. To be honest I wasn’t sure what to expect… but now I feel so inspired!

    Also, and these things really don’t matter but they do to me…

    As a black man myself, who has six children and full custody of five of them, it’s REFRESHING to see another person in a somewhat similar situation have some success with this issue. I am sure it’s a struggle at times. But this will be bookmarked and I will be coming back to it.

    Sincerely, thank you!

  • Cylon, your article is amazing! Everything you have written about, I can relate to. I am on a journey right now to get fit and to start writing.

    This has given me some inspiration to keep going and not to be too hard on myself.

    Thank you!

  • Thank you, this is something I struggle with my whole life. I’ve lost great opportuniirs because I can never commited to it. After reading your article it gives me hope. Thank you 😊

  • hey, overall your article was good one. Even you point out the correct reason why we lack consistency that is we don’t enjoy the process. But, I think you must elaborate more on this “Find Joy in the Process”.

    • Thanks! Regarding your question, I would say the points in the post propose a path to finding joy in the process. The main idea is that by becoming more mindful of the process itself, it can become more enjoyable with practice. We may notice small pleasures or details along the way that we missed because we were always looking at the prize. Finding joy in a process is a skill in its own right that takes time to master. The process of mastering something that at first seemed not enjoyable and hard can itself bring a sense of accomplishment and joy.

  • Amazing article. crisp and clear, unlike the motivational videos which inspires you for dat particular moment.
    Thank you Cylon.

  • Well written, i think accountability partner or for that matter , any idol be it your future self or inner voice or your virtual guru, or hero can be your partner , you need to look up to ensure that you follow the process diligently and daily, Would be happy to contribute articles or do proof reading for ur blog, let me know if I can be of any help, thanks

  • Hi I’m really struggling with being consistent just as simple like I would start clean but don’t finish sometimes or like working out I’ll start the first week and but don’t continue or even with food. And it’s killing me and bc I’m only 21 I wanna do better for myself as I’m getting my GED I couldn’t stay connected with it and I put myself about it.

  • That’s very powerful. I actually quite agree with you Cylon that the process involved in achieving a desired goal is very challenging. This is where alot of people quit. My greatest challenge personally. Thank you.

  • you are really working on your Blogging skills. Usually my attention span is very less I can not focus but I read this whole article is different story altogether. I used to blame myself all the time that I cannot finish what I starts (eg. finishing whole article) but I realized apart from reader’s focus & determination , writer’s skill does matter. Thanks for the blog.

      • “Really Needed this at this time..” IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT !!! THIS BLOG GAVE ME NEW HOPE TODAY … COULDNT THANK YOU ENOUGH PLEASE DONT STOP WRITING ..from nyc- pa- atl- Oklahoma and still going; peace

  • Great blog!! great insights for me to take. It was my struggle for many years and I feel I’m spinning and getting nowhere. For almost a year now I am building myself up after depression and anxiety. Yes, I made it but fall back again and again… I am determine win over this area of my life…I am so glad that I found your blog. Everything resonates my situation now. Thank you for sharing your heart in here and your hard work of writing every day..Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart…

    • Thank you very much. I am honored to be able to share from my heart to yours. And I commend you highly for doing your best to keep getting up after you fall. I am in your corner rooting for you! Peace be with you.

  • U just made me feel that I am talking to my self and I found every situation very very relatable , I loved your blog

  • I’m so glad I came across your post!! It’s exactly the guidance I need. I’ve always struggled to be consistent and this is a great strategy!! Thank you!

  • Good Post – but I think throw the word ‘consistent’ around when they realy mean ‘constantly getting better’ – which, of course, demands ‘continuous improvement’ aka change. Or said differently – “To be consistent is to be just as bad today as you were a year ago”. Peace!

  • This is my first time on your blog as I just stumbled into it and I am just amazed at how you are speaking directly to one of my greatest problems in life…being consistently inconsistent. It has caused me great anxiety, especially when God will drop an idea into my heart.I pray that what I’ve learned from your blogpost today will change my life for the better, in Jesus’ name. Amen!

  • I feel like I will reAd this article everytime I struggle to remind myself how to be consistent. I’m glad that I finally found this article! My brain lights up. 🙂 Thank you!

  • Thank you for opening up and sharing your experience. My whole life I’ve been consistent on not being consistent (time mgnt, working out, hobbies, boundaries, work, drinking, etc). I’m a big picture, abstract thinker who looks at the final goal as success. You challenged me to think that “maybe” success is in the process. Great post! Thank you again.

  • this post has really some great insights to offer, specially for people like me who are suffering from anxiety and depression since three long years. I’ve always been a person who doesn’t forgive himself for all the wrong decisions taken in the past.
    Still, I hold myself responsible for my downfalls. I’ve been struggling with consistency since a long time which has induced within me the habit of procrastination. But I’ve never stopped trying despite failing multiple times and thanks to the author for acknowledging the Dip phase in any process. It is absolutely relatable.

  • Wow, thanks for sharing🤗. I finally found the sentence I couldn’t define “focusing on the outcome instead of the process”. I will start making consistent changes.

  • This is the first time I find something well written and with great content on a blog. Please continue with the great work. Thank you.

  • Thank you so much for pushing thru and writing this article/blog. And just being vulnerable and keeping it real. You have inspired me so much and I could relate to everything you said. Wow. I thank God for leading me to your post! You’re awesome!!

  • Thank you!! Your words completely changed my outlook. Just the total simplicity of one sentence: “you’re focused on the outcome instead of the process”.
    Also, realizing my perfectionism; if the process doesn’t go smoothly and exactly as I planned, I just decide my goal is not happening.
    Again, thank you for your wisdom!

  • Reading this has already ease the nervousness that comes with knowing you are inconsistent and the fear of failing. This was very therapeutic for me and has given me the insight that will truly encourage me to “Just do it”

  • Just stumbled across your website and love the message you’re putting out there! Love your perspective on why people struggle so much with consistency, it’s very relatable. I look forward to reading more articles!

  • Thank you so much. Keep on writing. First time to see your work and this really helped me to find what I was lacking. Young generation is here too to learn from your posts.

  • I truly loved this vlog. I was able to see myself like a mirror. I would say that I am a great planner, a spectacular planner actually. But my outputs aren’t directly proportional. And when you said “You’re focused on the outcome rather than the process.”, I was like ohhhh! That is the problem! Because that is sooo true on my case. I not only plan, not only write on my notebooks and PC but also write on color papers and post it near my bed so I see it when ever I wake up or sleep. The problem is, I only wrote the outputs, nothing about the process. I do have the details of how to achieve my plans on my journals and PC but I never really focus on it as much as the outputs. I see time passing by and get terrified for not getting to my goals every night and morning. My posts are terrifying me than motivating me. So, as of today, I will be a process lover, I better be a process lover. Thank you very much for the experience sharing, I hope to come back to you with change report soon. Have a blessed life!

  • HI
    I read it today.
    Very simple and precise. We always waste a lot of time doing nothing. If we really use all the capability we have, we can definitely touch the sky in our own world. 🙂

    Hope you are still writing. Sorry I am just born witty..LOL

  • This is an amazing piece of literature. Crisp and clear. Thank you for helping those who are struggling with inconsistency.

  • This was so helpful! Took notes on this. “The dip serves as a natural barrier to separate quitters from those who go on to experience extraordinary success”. That was what I needed to hear!

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