No good thing is pleasant to possess, without friends to share it ~ Seneca
Let’s face it.
You have a complicated relationship with money.
You want it. You need it. But you’re frustrated with your preoccupation with it.
How can rectangular pieces of paper with faces, numbers, and signatures seemingly have so much power over you?
Probably one of the most cited passages in the Bible is about the love of money being the root of all kinds of evil (1 Tim 6:10).
Most commentators have rightfully said that it’s the love of money that matters. Money itself is neutral. It is neither good nor evil.
So, why do so many of us struggle with money?
We struggle to talk about it. We struggle to save it. We struggle to make enough of it. We struggle to give it away.
Our struggle with money is really a struggle with ourselves.
We feel a mixture of ambivalence, guilt, shame, greed, and selfishness. Money is not our bills and coins. Money is an idea. Our struggle with money is a deeply spiritual affair.
Money is like a mirror
Money reflects back to us this basic truth:
Our desires and fears are infinite.
Money is a symbol of our infinite capacity for desire and fear. Our need to acquire lots of it in order to buy many things is our senseless attempt to satiate infinite desires and fears.
Leo Babauta of Zen Habits recently wrote a post called “Fear Is Why We Have Too Much Stuff.”
In the post, he writes:
“We want these items to comfort us, to help us cope with fears and anxieties, to help us feel prepared and more secure, to help us feel that we’ll be OK, to help us feel more certain about the future. And of course, these items don’t actually do any of these things.”
How can we keep these fears from eating us alive? We need to drop our illusions and harmful beliefs about money. Here are three ideas to consider:
1. Remember that money doesn’t own you.
Most of us unconsciously act like slaves to money. We literally slave over it, falsely believing that if we could just have enough of it, we can eventually relax. But this almost never happens. There is no such thing as “enough” money. With more money comes deeper levels of desire and fears that money simply cannot keep pace with.
When you work for money, you allow money to own you. But it doesn’t have to be this way, even if you’ve been taught this all your life.
Instead, work to create value for others. When you do this, the money will naturally follow. And you will know what it’s like to own money.
2. Spend it on others
Have you ever spent a large sum of money on yourself? The ickiness you feel is difficult to describe, but undeniable.
The closest we can come to actually buying happiness is when we spend money on others. You don’t need to spend it all on other people. You just need to spend some.
Think about the last time you bought someone a cup of coffee or lunch. Think about the last time you gave money to charity. You probably immediately felt happier.
Develop the habit of regularly spending money on others, and you’ll keep your fears at bay.
3. Practice poverty
It’s amazing how many of us are eager acquire the status symbols of our culture that announce we’ve arrived – even if we have to borrow money to do it.
If we understand our true worth, we wouldn’t spend our energy trying to appear affluent. We wouldn’t look down on others who have less than us. We wouldn’t be afraid to appear poor ourselves.
You don’t need to give away all your money and possessions to practice poverty. What if you kept your older model smartphone for a few more years? What if you wore your clothing till they were worn out? What if you ate rice and beans for dinner every couple weeks?
Try these small acts of poverty and ask yourself: Is this the condition that I feared?
You Don’t Need To Keep Up With The Joneses
Still trying to keep with the good old Joneses?
Don’t bother because they’re going broke.
When you catch yourself obsessing over money, give some away.
When you’re tempted to buy something you don’t need, spend on the needs of another.
When you’re tempted to think you’re poor, cut back on your lifestyle and you’ll feel like you just got a raise.
And you’ll realize how incredibly rich you truly are.
I like the sentiment of cutting back on your lifestyle to feel rich. Sounds counterintuitive at first, but then makes sense.
Yup, it certainly is – and it’s hard to do.
Reminds me of this quote from Marc and Angel Chernoff:
“The richest person isn’t the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least. Wealth is a mindset. Want less and appreciate more today. Be thankful for your life. For your health, your family, your friends, and your home. Many people don’t have these things.” Courtesy of Marc & Angel