7 Steps to Growing Your Optimism

“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”

Victor Hugo

Have you ever lost hope?

Hope in your ability to thrive at home or work?  Maybe you feel like you don’t even know what to hope for. You feel beaten down by life. Everything you do seems to fall flat.

Maybe you just don’t have the energy to show up as your true self. Or you’re not sure who you are, who you want to be, or whether you would be accepted.

Losing one’s sense of hope and optimism can feel terrible in the moment. The good news is that you can reignite your sense of hope even when you feel like quitting. 

The key is that you need to cultivate optimism so that it serves you when you’re feeling down and out by the challenges of life.

Here’s how you can:

1. Work on your visualization powers

You may have heard of visualization and thought it was corny or not for you. I’ve been turned off in the past by the idea of visualizing because practitioners seem to always want to focus on what they want to acquire and achieve.

But at the most basic level, visualization is about getting in touch with how we want to feel.

So how do you want to feel on any given day or in any given situation? Do you feel bad or guilty for wanting to be happy or free? Do you feel like you’re worthy of freedom?

In order to unlock your visualization powers, you must first answer this last question in the affirmative. And no, you don’t have to feel like saying yes. Just saying ‘yes’ is enough to get the ball rolling.

Then allow yourself to imagine what it would feel like to be happier, more loving, more confident, more peaceful. Maybe you want to wake up with a spring in your step. Begin imagine yourself doing this everyday.

Stretch yourself to dream big about something you think is just not possible right now. Maybe you think you’ll never be happy. Suspend your disbelief. Imagine yourself waking up happy every single day of your life.

Embrace the idea that you can create your own inner reality through visualization.

2. Relax

You have to learn to let go of preconceived notions before you can allow fresh ideas and inspiration to enter. 

The most effective way to do this is to relax. You don’t have to control everything, if anything. All that’s necessary is surrender.

If you feel discouraged because you’re unable to figure something out or experience more positive feelings, just take a break from what you’re doing and relax or do something relaxing like listening to your favorite song.

The reason why we struggle to relax is because we have a hard time trusting. We don’t trust others. We don’t trust ourselves. So we tense up, grasp, and hold on with little positive effect. Optimism cannot thrive where there’s tension.

So breathe and let go.

3. Exercise

Cultivating optimism requires energy. This is why we need to maintain good physical and emotional health.

One easy way to do both is by exercising. When you’re feeling mentally stuck, notice how much your body is physically stuck too.

The mistake that most of us make is that we try to unstick our minds using our minds. It rarely works. The easier way to do this is by unsticking your body.

You don’t need to do one hundred push-ups. Get outside and take a brisk walk around the neighborhood. You’ll notice your mood beginning to shift and your mind beginning to feel more free and creative again.

But again, this step requires trust. Trust that the body has a wisdom all its own. Trust in the power of the mind-body connection.

4. Laugh

They say laughter is the best medicine. Even though this medicine is totally free, we let it sit on the shelf because we often take life too seriously.

Yes, there is much we can be serious about. Life is hard and brings with it many serious demands. But it doesn’t mean we can’t laugh.

If you’re overwhelmed by negativity, you can learn to stave it off by cultivating your inner comedian. You don’t need to be the next great stand-up comic, you just need to be yourself.

Spend time with people who like to laugh. Try to put others at ease with a smile and some light humor. You will quickly find yourself becoming more attractive to others through the optimism shining through you.

5. Watch your language

You may think your inner monologue doesn’t matter much and that nobody’s listening. But that’s not true.

Your own psyche listens to every word you say, audible or inaudible. It takes its marching orders from you. If you feed your mind with negativity, it will be very difficult to be optimistic. You will find yourself feeling down and out and unable to find your way.

Notice how you speak to yourself. How would you feel if you spoke to others the way you spoke to yourself? Are you willing to ban certain words from your vocabulary?

Choose to only speak words that lift yourself and others up. Allow negative thoughts to come and go without fixating on them. That way, negativity cannot stick to you.

6. Serve

In addition to exercise, another good way to get unstuck is by doing something for another person.

Seek to serve by reaching out to help someone in need. It can be as simple as calling a neighbor to check in on them or picking up trash around the neighborhood.

When you serve, the positivity you put out will come back to you and lift you up. As the saying goes, “A rising tide lifts all boats.”

7. Reflect on your strengths

You have unique gifts that you regularly downplay. It just much easier to focus on the shortcomings. But if you want to raise your optimism, you must be willing to not be shy about your gifts, talents, and strengths.

What compliments do you most frequently receive? What areas of life do you feel most confident and self-assured? Seek to hone and develop these gifts, no matter how small you think they are.

Grow your optimism, grow your impact

You are stronger, smarter, and wiser than you think.

Stop betting against yourself. Don’t succumb to the negative forces seeking to keep you down and hold you back.

Doing so not only makes you miserable, it serves no one.

So grow your optimism, grow your happiness, grow your impact.