Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves ~ Rilke
Do you remember when you were a young child?
Do you remember driving your parents crazy with all those “why” questions?
If you do, you’re one of the lucky ones.
Young children are driven by an intense curiosity about the world around them. Their minds and hearts are hungry, not just for information, but for meaning and connection. This becomes most apparent to parents during those “why” years – when every answer offered to appease the little rascal is greeted with another piercing “Why?”
Interestingly, the questions diminish as we grow up. Our curiosity is replaced by our desire for responsibility, stability, and certainty. We think we know, or we’re afraid to know, so we don’t ask.
Make no mistake, the questions are still there. But we bury them. We try to ignore them or pretend they don’t exist. We’re afraid to be alone in the event that they try to confront us in all their unresolved glory.
Questions like “Why is the sky blue?” or “Why do I have to eat my carrots?” slowly become:
Why was I born with these gifts or challenges?
Why am I unhappy in my work?
Why is there so much suffering in the world?
Why am I blessed with abundance?
Why is my marriage failing?
Why have I lost faith in the goodness of people?
When these questions bubble up to the surface of your consciousness, don’t push them back down. Be curious about them. What are they trying to communicate to you about yourself and how you relate to the world?
Resist trying to find easy answers – Simply sit with the questions.
Finding your why is not about discovering some neat or satisfactory answer to appease your restless heart, or freeing yourself of the trouble of thinking about difficult things, or assigning blame.
Finding your why is about maintaining a sense of curiosity and wonder about the things that perplex us. It’s about finding meaning even when you can’t find answers.
It’s about being keenly aware of the miracle that you are – that you are here against all odds – and that you are able to ask “Why?”
Hello Cylon,
Just a quick but sincere thank you for this post.
Since our scientific age, we tend to think everything has a neat, reproducible answer. Like answering an exam question. Or completing a crossword puzzle.
You’ve reminded us that the important stuff may not be reduced down to a formula but is something dynamic and deep and generous.
Thank you.
You’re most welcome, Zarayna. It’s so hard to stay with the questions – but as you so eloquently stated, this is where we find dynamism, depth, and generosity.
Very true post Cylon – maybe you could add to your list of questions that bubble up:
Why is there so much goodness in the world?
Why are most people so amazingly compassionate the world over?
Sometimes as someone famous said, it’s just a case of asking better questions:)
Absolutely Mark! Thank you for these 🙂