“Each human being suffers in a way no other human being suffers.” ~ Henri J.M. Nouwen

It hurts, doesn’t it?

The post-holiday slump.

You’ve worked so hard to make the holidays perfect, but things did not turn out quite the way you wanted or expected. Your family members barely talked to each other. The Christmas ham didn’t come out quite right. The special gift you chose for a loved one was not well received.

Inevitably you found yourself not as happy, engaged, gracious, or kind as you hoped to be. You’re stressed out, tired, and experiencing a bit of a spiritual hangover.

The Christmas holiday season can be very stressful because we’re expected to live up to our highest ideals. And when we struggle for one reason or another during the holidays, it can be hard to admit these feelings to another person, or to ourselves.

I’m Broken

Every year, I begin the holiday season expecting to be my best self. I expect to get along with my family and friends. I expect to be well rested and rejuvenated. I expect to be generous with my time and gifts. And this is mostly true.

But sometimes find myself being distracted, irritable, and selfish. Sometimes I eat and spend too much. Sometimes I lose my motivation to stick to my routines that keep my mind, body, and spirit healthy.

Does this describe you? Then the gap between where you are and where you want to be is likely causing you to suffer. You may be suffering in silence. You may be crafting a new set of New Year’s resolutions to narrow the gap. Or maybe you’re simply pretending the gap isn’t there.

We all have gaps. And they can appear to widen during this time of the year.

We’re all broken

As I was reflecting on the gaps in my own life, my mind turned to the spiritual writings of Henri Nouwen. Nouwen’s ability to honestly write about the struggles of his own life has inspired and given hope to many. His classic, Life of the Beloved is a book I often turn to when I feel vulnerable.

In one section titled “Broken,” he writes:

“Fearsome as it may sound, as the Beloved ones, we are called to claim our unique brokenness, just as we have to claim our unique chosenness and our unique blessedness.”

He goes on to suggest that the right response to our brokenness is to befriend it – not suppress it or pretend it’s not there.

As I read this, I remembered how much I am caught by surprise when my brokenness shows up during the holidays. And I realized that my very surprise means that I have not yet befriended my brokenness.

Befriending your brokenness

How can you – in this moment – begin to befriend your brokenness?

1. Acknowledge it
2. Accept it
3. Observe it
4. Sit with it
5. Talk to it
6. Invite it to tea

As you begin to think about where you want to go in 2016, take some time to reflect on where you are right now. Reflect on the parts of your life that are broken. Know that the brokenness will never quite leave you – even as you work to narrow the gaps.

Instead of focussing on your “failures” this holiday season, use the fresh start of the new year to find healing in your brokenness.