How to Deal With Holiday Stress

The holidays are only holy if we make them so ~ Marianne Williamson.

Remember how much you enjoyed the Christmas season when you were a kid?

You’d eagerly count down the days till Christmas, bursting with excitement. You loved going to the mall with your parents and reading Christmas stories. You loved going to church, caroling, and family holiday dinners.

But nowadays? The sound of Christmas music on the radio irritates you to no end, you’re overwhelmed with all the shopping you have to do, and you just can’t wait till the ritual of endless Christmas parties, Secret Santa, and other obligations are over.

How did it come to this? How did your favorite season become the most dreaded?

Many people find themselves feeling down, irritated, or depressed during the holiday season. If you can identify with the feeling, you may feel like you’re the only one. But know that many others are quietly suffering alongside you.

Here are three reasons why you may struggle during the holidays and how to deal with it:

1. You’ve lost a family member

Maybe you’re about to mark the anniversary of the passing of a loved one. Or it could be that while your loved one is still living, due to a falling out or gradual distancing, you have lost a relationship with that person. Perhaps reconciliation isn’t healthy or realistic. Your pain is made more acute by the pressure to be happy and cheerful.

Hearing Christmas music can also be especially painful as it can bring back vivid memories of good times with the person you’ve lost.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to acknowledge the pain fully. Don’t try to hide it or pretend to be ok for the sake of others. Seek a good listening ear and share honestly and openly how you’re feeling about the loss and pain.

It won’t take away the pain, but acknowledgment will help you on the road toward accepting life without the person. Honor the grief today.

2. You’re experiencing financial stress

The Christmas holiday is the season for giving. And it’s wonderful that we can give. But often, we can feel pressure to give extravagant gifts with money we don’t have.

You want to be generous but also don’t want to feel resentful. Walking this fine line can be difficult. Fortunately, it is possible to set appropriate boundaries without feeling like Ebenezer Scrooge.

Go into the holidays deciding ahead of time how much you’re willing to spend and who you’re willing to spend on. Write it down and hold yourself accountable to stick to your budget.

If you’re already in over your head with Christmas spending, stop and take some time to review how much you’ve spent. Be real with yourself about what you can do with your remaining resources and time this month, and let the rest go.

3. You’re forced to reflect on your year

As we approach the end of December, it’s only natural to look back on the year that was with all its joys, challenges, successes, and failures.

If you had challenges during the year and things aren’t ending on a high note, it can leave you feeling depressed and defeated.

What can help? Remember that there’s nothing that you can do to change the past. All you can do is focus on the present and look ahead to the future.

Focus on what matters

Despite the challenges of the season, Christmas can still be a magical time. There are moments when it just feels good to be connected to something that’s larger than yourself.

Though the challenges are real, you have what it takes to get through the season. Stay focussed on the larger meaning of the season, do what you can to mitigate the stress, and let go the rest.