“What will mess you up most in life is the picture in your head of how it is supposed to be” ~ Unknown
Few of us would think of ourselves as entitled.
But if you dig a bit deeper, it’s pretty easy to unearth the truth.
For me at least, I’ve found that I can be entitled to a disturbing degree. And I’ve realized that it’s my hidden sense of entitlement, more than anything else, that’s holding me back from reaching my full potential in every area of life. It’s sobering, and humbling.
How about you? Is a sense of entitlement holding you back? See if any of these questions ring true for you:
- Do you fundamentally believe that you should succeed if you do all the “right” things?
- Do you burn with jealousy when others, seemingly less talented and deserving than you are thriving?
- Do you refuse to try new things out of fear of failure or difficulty?
- Do you quit things after the first try?
- Are you afraid of looking like a fool or being humiliated?
- Do you secretly yearn for reward without risk or hard work?
- Do you expect others to make the first move?
- Do you expect all your prayers to be answered?
- Do you believe everyone should like you because you’re a good person?
- Do you think life should be “fair”?
If you’re honest with yourself, you probably answered yes to more of these that you’d like.
This might not work
Seth Godin popularized a simple but powerful phrase: “This might not work.”
This little phrase is the antidote to entitlement. However, it only works if we quickly follow it up with the phrase “but it’s worth doing.”
Because, as Godin writes:
“At some level, “this might not work” is at the heart of all important projects, of everything new and worth doing. And it can paralyze us into inaction, into watering down our art and into failing to ship….
‘This might not work’ is either a curse, something that you labor under, or it’s a blessing, a chance to fly and do work you never thought possible.”
Do it anyway
So….
If you find yourself working up the courage to introduce yourself to the most important person in the room, say to yourself “This might not work” and do it anyway.
If you’re sure your thoughtful acts of kindness won’t be reciprocated, say to yourself “this might not work” and do it anyway.
If you’re afraid to waste a year of your life on a project, say to yourself “this might not work” and do it anyway.
Because if you want to break free of entitlement and take your work, your relationships, and your life to the next level, doing things that might not work is your only shot at success.
Hi Cylon,
Thank you for this timely advice.
Of course, I’m guilty of all of those statements and it took me a very long time to accept that the more noble sounding ones could be as treacherous as the selfish ones.
I am trying to do things anyway – there’s always something achieved for someone just by trying. And better than paralysis by analysis or frozen in fear.
Cheers!
Hey Cylon – great post – so short but So well written – just off to share!
Wow! Tough questions! Great questions! Probing and revealing questions! I never thought about entitlement in this sense before. I’ve always thought of entitlement as being an issue with others, not myself! I’m going to spend a little time with these questions.