“Not for ourselves alone are we born” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
What do you want?
I mean, what do you really want in life?
When confronted with question, how do you react? Do you say, “I thought you’d never ask!” and produce a long list of things that you’ve always wanted?
Maybe. But I suspect most of us haven’t a clue of what we really want. We have all kinds of wants, but we know deep down that none of them will satisfy the deepest want we have. This want is so deep that it’s unknowable.
Yes, we want good relationships, peace, love, admiration, the good life, purpose and meaning. But none of it sticks, none of it feels quite right. We’re constantly restless, never quite satisfied or not satisfied for long.
How most of us go about getting what we want
What do I want?
How can I get it?
How fast can I get it?
Who do I need to get it from?
How do I get it from them?
We often treat life like we treat the earth when we’re mining its precious resources. All we do is take, take, take. And just like unfettered mining leaves deep wounds and scars in the earth, living this way leaves deep wounds and scars in our souls.
When life revolves around my needs and wants, it becomes unbearable. And once you start down this death spiral, it’s so hard to get out. Rational thinking tells us that if we’re not getting what we want, we just need to double down on our efforts. But that only makes things worse.
How to get what you really want
The best metaphor I can think of to describe the nature of our deepest wants is that of divine restlessness which manifests itself in the form of a raging fire. The reason why this fire is never quenched is because it burns up everything we throw at it: prestige, comfort, money, adoration, even water.
Nothing can quench the fire that burns deep in our souls. But if we cannot somehow control the fire, it will consume us.
What do you really want? I don’t know. But I can tell you what you don’t want. You don’t want to be consumed by your own fire.
How do you keep the fire from consuming you? By giving it away in holy service to others. The way to do this is to begin by asking a different set of questions:
What do you want?
Who and how am I being led to serve?
Who am I being called to love in this moment?
Your deepest want, the divine fire within you, is a gift to be given away.
What a lovely reframing and retraining for our graspings.
Thank you, Cylon!
Yes, our greedy grasping for wants – just like mining for something like inanimate minerals when we can despoil and throw away the earth which is the precious life-sustaining bit.
Lovely balancing essay for us, Cylon.
Very grateful. Cheers.
Thanks Zara…glad you enjoyed the post 🙂
Just tweeted this! Thank you, Cylon!
Thank you Laurie for sharing!
Once again, your ability to reduce confusion to common sense. Well said