A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone.” ~ Luke 18:18-19
Frustrating, isn’t it?
You consider yourself a model citizen, yet you feel like the universe turns a blind eye to all the good you do in the world.
You pay your taxes, give money to the poor, volunteer at a food pantry, support your local farmers, and so on.
Yet you feel like you get little in return.
Your kids have gone astray, even after raising them to be model citizens like yourself. You just learned about a life-threatening illness after a routine doctor visit. You lost your life savings in a market downturn.
You feel the unfairness of life viscerally. You rant to God about the heretofore unspoken bargain you made:
“If I do good in the world, if I am good, you will keep all pain and suffering out of my life.”
It’s that simple. How could God mess that up? You become frustrated with life, yourself, your friends and family, and God. You wonder what was the value of all those good deeds.
Depending on your own goodness
In Matthew 19, we learn about a certain rich young man who asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life.
When Jesus tells him to follow the commandments, the man proudly declares that he has kept them. Quite the model citizen if ever there was one.
He presses Jesus with the question “What do I still lack?”
Jesus offers a response that proves devastating to the young man:
“If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Matthew 19:21)
Seriously?
This man did everything he could to follow the laws. He was hoping for another to-do he could perform without changing his life in any drastic way. He knew more was required but he didn’t realize that it meant giving up his entire life. He was hoping that all his good deeds would exempt him from such an extreme demand.
To get what he really wanted, he needed to surrender his goodness. His goodness, ironically, was the biggest obstacle in his way.
Giving up your goodness
What reckoning are you attempting to avoid with all your good deeds?
Are you hoping that they will absolve you of withholding forgiveness from the person who hurt you most?
Save you from having to admit you were wrong?
Bolster your need for recognition and accolades?
Give you license to be loose and reckless in certain areas of your life?
Be used as an effective bargaining chip against unfairness and injustice?
Mask your self-hatred?
Your goodness is keeping you stuck in spiritual mediocrity. And you know it. Instead of asking like the rich man “What do I still lack?” you say things like, “What else can I do to make this person like me or be impressed with me?” or “How can I live in a way that will guarantee a problem-free life?”
This is why you need to give up your goodness. Because your goodness is holding you back from who you were truly made to be. You are a child of God, made to love and be loved.
You were made for love, not goodness
Life is unfair.
No amount of goodness on your part will save you from that.
In order to progress spiritually, it’s crucial that you drop this illusion. If you desire to be good, you must first desire to love. And your goodness will flow out of that love. Let your goodness be aided by divine help, because no human can be good all by themselves.
Wow. This is powerful stuff. You ask really hard questions! Which are really hard to answer… In answering them, I may have to confront truth…
Thanks Eva. I would say don’t pressure yourself to come up with the answers. Just sit with the questions and see what comes of it. Good luck!
Thank you, Cylon, for a good old shake-up!
Obviously, there are far worse qualities to have than the weakness to be rewarded and comforted in return for doing good deeds.
But, as you say, it can not only imprison us but can morph into a sense of entitlement.
Thank you for a stern, but loving, reminder.
You’re most welcome Zara 🙂
Ouch. You hit a soft spot today. Thanks for making me think.
You’re welcome…hope it didn’t hurt too much 😉
You really made me pause and reflect. However, what if you provide goodness without any expectation whatsoever in return and what drives you to do good is the knowing that God lives in you and it is His will to spread good (love)?
Hi Abe – I would say good! Because the goodness you describe is reflection of God’s goodness rather than one derived from our own ego. Self-driven goodness (as opposed to God-driven goodness) is what this post was warning about.