“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” ~ Voltaire
Do you remember a time when it wasn’t as easy as it is now to get answers to your questions?
If you wanted information, you had to either find an expert or go to the local library.
Getting answers was often laborious. Only a few had access to the valuable information you were seeking. They were the ones with all the clout.
How times have changed.
If you’re connected to the internet, you can have virtually all the world’s knowledge delivered to you at the speed of light. You don’t have to depend on the experts anymore. Anyone can be an expert after spending a little time on the internet researching a topic of choice.
And there’s the rub.
Because we all have access to answers, they aren’t as valuable as they used to be. In fact, most of the answers we are seeking are to relatively superficial questions. Here are the top 10 questions people searched for in 2017 as reported by TIME magazine:
What is DACA?
What is Bitcoin?
What is a solar eclipse?
What is antifa?
What is net neutrality?
What is covfefe? (Seriously?)
What is the antikythera mechanism?
What is a fidget spinner?
What is the Paris Climate Agreement?
What is a hurricane?
While precious few of these questions may be worth pondering, all of them were driven by trending news events—not the place we expect deep questions to be generated.
So where are the deeper questions? Is it that we don’t trust Google with our deeper questions or that we’re just not that interested? Is it that we simply don’t bother to ask questions we know there’s no good answer to? Or are we afraid of what the answers might be?
Sitting with the hard questions
Recently someone asked me a question I’ve heard dozens of times before:
Why does God allow people to suffer?
The person asking the question has seen much suffering. I was tempted for a moment to try to offer an answer that could both relieve her pain and let God off the hook.
Instead, I found myself saying (admittedly after fumbling around a bit), “I don’t know.”
This response is in no way dismissive of the question. I’ve been thinking about this questions for many years. Every now and then, I would come across some rational, well thought out explanation that would satisfy me. If only I didn’t have to actually have to look directly at the face of a suffering person, the satisfaction would last.
Impressive answers to the question of suffering simply melt away when one is in the presence of a suffering person or is suffering themselves.
All you have left is the enduring question:
Why does God allow people to suffer?
What might a more appropriate response to such a question be?
Silence?
A willingness to sit with the question along with the anger, fear, or doubt that it might accompany it?
Discovering different and deeper questions?
Sitting with your questions
What are some of the hard questions bouncing around in your heart? The ones you keep pushing aside?
What would happen if you slowly allow them to come to the surface in their own time?
You may not think you’re strong enough to deal with them now. That may be true. Just know that life will force you to deal with them sooner or later. And I’m almost certain that Google will not have the answers.
Will you be strong enough when the time comes? Is that even the right question to ask?
Once you’ve found the right questions to wrestle with, you would have found something much more valuable than answers.
Very thought-provoking! Thanks for your post.
You’re welcome Sheri 🙂
Thank you for this post, Cylon.
Like the idea of shutting up and allowing the worthwhile a chance to break through the normal chatter and surface.
I remind myself that the same mind that suggests I go upstairs – and when I get there, forgets why I’m there, is the same mind that every now and then contemplates the infinite.
Also, when contemplating the ‘beyond our understanding’ questions, as long as we remember not to become attached to or territorial about any answers, it can be an insightful exercise in our limitations, acceptance of which is the beginning of wisdom.
Totally agree about not offering pat answers to big questions when there might be others present who are truly suffering and perplexed. We don’t always want answers – maybe just someone there to catch us if we fall.
Thanks very much, Cylon.
So beautifully said Zara. Thank you 🙂
Sometimes, the best answer to a hard question is silence… sometimes, it’s the only answer. I’ve found that trying to answer hard questions only makes the questioner angrier. Your challenge to surface my own questions is intriguing… I don’t know of any questions, but maybe I’m choosing to leave them buried, so as not to make myself angry…
Totally agree about the silence. It’s hard to do because we feel useless in such situations, but sometimes it’s very appropriate. Regarding your buried questions…as long as you’re not actively trying to keep them buried if they’re surfacing…I would leave them right there until the time is right.
Your response: “it’s hard to do because we feel useless in such situations,” …Could that be a “man” thing? When the “masculine” side of my nature emerges, I feel the need to come up with answers, thinking I can help. When the “feminine” side is stronger, that’s when I can sit in silence with the person. I don’t feel the need to “fix” anything, or make it better. …or maybe that’s just the part of me that has the wisdom to say, I JUST DON’T KNOW! To you, I would say, let go of any feelings of uselessness… unless you’re pressed to respond, your silence is gift and very useful! That’s when you let go, and God takes over. As for your great advice… THANK YOU! You’re right, I won’t go digging, but if questions do come up, that’s when I should address them… Today, I took Joe through all my childhood neighborhoods. Who knows what might surface… I may have poked the bear! (smile)
You got me…yes, I am a man…lol! The “uselessness” temptations comes up most strongly when I’m with the people closest to me. It’s my defense mechanism against the feeling that I am at least partially responsible for the difficulties the person is facing. I just have to remember that 1) that’s often not true, and 2) my loved ones are deserving of appropriate silence too.
Wonderful article, Cylon. I wonder if those asking you why God allows suffering are asking a question anyone can answer in a satisfying way. It’s especially hard when loved ones are suffering.
As for our own suffering, I wonder if there are deeper questions we may avoid asking because we may not like the answers. Or, as you say, we don’t know if we are strong enough to hear the answers. These might be questions about how we might be contributing to our own suffering, or to the suffering of others. Or questions about what our suffering may have to teach us. In those cases it may be easier to ask why God allows suffering than how we might be contributing to our own or someone else’s.
So true Kim. Personally, some of the questions you raised are some of the hardest ones to face. It’s easy to ponder questions that place responsibility on others. The ones that place it squarely on our laps, not so much. Thank you for sharing them.