Boundaries.
Nobody questions that when it comes to physical property, we need them to have an orderly, functional society.
So why do we question the need to have good interpersonal and spiritual boundaries? Many of us struggle to maintain a healthy sense of self because of poor boundaries.
In today’s video, I address this issue. I discuss why it’s important to establish healthy boundaries and two strategies to help you get started.
Great topic! I know this is off topic, but I have to tell you that I’m amazed at how comfortable you look in doing the video messages. I like your suggestion to postpone a response, to allow yourself time to really consider whether you will say, “yes,” because you want to help/participate, or “no,” because you really don’t want to! I think this is especially great for teens to hear, and learn, because it allows them time to come up with a response when they really don’t want to bow to peer pressure, over something that they just don’t feel right about. I used to tell my kids, “blame me!” If you want to say, “no,” but feel pressured, blame me. (But, of course, as they became older teens, they had to learn how to accept the responsibility of the “no.”) I do struggle with this at times, because you really might not want to do something, but feel pressured, or even guilty. I think your strategy to respond with a request for time to respond is GREAT! When I have remembered to postpone a response, it’s always given me the distance to respond “unemotionally,” without guilt or pressure. It’s so much easier, out of the heat of the moment to respond, “I’ve thought about it, and I’m sorry, but I just don’t think I can do that right now.”