“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” ~ Rumi
Ever had your joy snatched away from you?
You wake up confidently thinking that you can rise to any challenge only to have your upbeat mood deflated by a snide remark or hostile glance.
You’re utterly dismayed by how easily your joy can be taken away. So you try to cling ever more tightly to pleasurable feelings. But it’s as elusive as trying to grab a handful of air.
You may think that joy is fragile and easy to destroy — even if you already know in your heart that true joy goes much deeper than fleeting feelings.
Defining joy
The problem is that most of us don’t take the time to define what it means to be joyful. It’s understandable because joy is one of those things that’s hard to define. And we may each have very different (even if foggy) ideas of what joy means in our lives.
When I think of joy, I think of the mystic Julian of Norwich who famously said:
“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”
For me, joy means confidently knowing that I have everything I need even if I don’t have what I want. It means trusting that everything is the way it should be even when my life feels out of control. It means choosing gratitude and love over fear.
How to develop indestructible joy
Here are a few suggestions to help you on the path to indestructible joy:
1. Let go
Only in letting go your preconceived expectations about what will make you joyful will you experience joy in every aspect of life. You’ll develop a keen awareness that there is always joy around you and that you can access it at any time.
2. Put the ego in its place
Ego is not all bad — but it’s not everything. The ego needs to be tamed and controlled so that it finds its place in the larger whole. When the ego takes over, joy becomes dependent on external circumstances and forces. Joy comes when you realize that the reality of your life is much larger than just you.
3. Transcend yourself
As a lifelong Christian, I’ve embraced the idea that I am created in God’s image. This connects me to a transcendent reality that is much bigger than me. My identity is larger than just the “I” that is passing away with every ticking second. What transcendent reality do you embrace? Strive to embrace it more fully. It will take you outside your temporal self to a more permanent and indestructible reality.
4. Laugh often
When you’re feeling sad, laugh. When you’re feeling afraid, laugh. When you’re full of yourself, laugh. Laughter will break open your soul to the ever present joy all around you.
5. Love the problems
Most people desire to banish all their problems. We tell ourselves that if these obstacles didn’t exist, life would be so much better. What if those problems contain the seeds of making you who you desire to become? Love the problems. Because it is in facing them that you’ll discover your capacity for courage, love, hopefulness, gratitude, and generosity.
Joy is a choice
At its heart, joy is a choice.
Feelings come and go as they will but you can make choices at anytime. And often, the feelings we so desperately seek quietly show up when we choose to trust.
When we exercise our freedom to choose, our joy becomes indestructible.
Your articles are always a great read and very uplifting 🙂 it’s nice to be reminded that joy is a choice, especially when life is hard at times. Thank you 🙂
You’re very welcome 🙂
Hi Cyclon,
Great post. Adjusting your expectations can really help you get a handle your joy. Disappointment is usually the source of our displeasure. Stop expecting and more accepting and you’ll be alright.
~Lea
You’re right Lea. Most of us falter at managing our expectations. We don’t need to wait for any of them to be met to experience joy. Thanks for sharing!