All I want to say is, “You are Beloved.” ~ Henri J.M. Nouwen
Unlike the Ancient Greeks, we describe the various types of love we experience using the one word “love.” We are taught to love one another in our religious traditions and in our families. Young people are encouraged to pursue the work they love and to marry the person they love. We are encouraged to give our time, talents, and treasures to causes we care about. People in the helping professions are drawn by their love of helping others.
This is all good, but notice how few of us are taught to love ourselves. The Ancient Greeks called this type of love Philautia. We resist this type of love because it seems so self-centered, maybe even narcissistic. But proper self love is essential to our ability to love others well.
How do we learn to love ourselves? I think the words of the late Catholic priest and spiritual writer Henri Nouwen provide an answer. In his book, Life of the Beloved, he writes:
Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us “Beloved.” Being the Beloved expressed the core truth of our existence.
We can begin to learn to love ourselves truly when we claim the fact that we are Beloved. You are loved, just the way you are. You are loved right this moment. Not at some future time when you will reach perfection, work out all your idiosyncrasies, or succeed at something the world says you need to achieve in order to be loved. The truth is you do not need to “be loved” because you are Beloved.
Love the Beloved. Love yourself.
Oh, Cylon!
That is difficult and yet I accept that it is because of ego. Not to treat oneself as one treats others is just as foolish as overly loving oneself to the detriment of others.
I shall have to go away and have a cup of tea and think about that. I think I’ll have to start by laughing at myself – that’s normally a good position to take anyway.
Thank you, Cylon.
(Hope you are selling lots of books and hence spreading the word).
I agree Zara – Laughing at ourselves is a great gateway to loving ourselves. One good laugh can help heal years of anguish and pain!