“What you tell yourself every day will lift you up or tear you down. Choose wisely” ~ Unknown
We have all heard it.
The little voice that resides in our heads.
Have you noticed that the voice is gifted at speaking negativity to us? And it takes little or no effort on our part to hear it. Have you noticed too that it gets louder when we experience either blessing or misfortune? It says things like, “you are not worthy of this honor” or “you deserved that.”
Words have power. Contrary to the “stick and stones” rhyme, they can build us up or tear us down. The words we say to one another matter. This is true too of the words we say to ourselves.
If you start entertaining and believing these thoughts, they will shape your attitude, which will eventually shape your actions, which in turn shape your outcome. Did you know that you can choose to not believe the voice? Did you know that you can even silence it?
This will take a little work but it can be done. Here are a few tips to help:
1. Express gratitude.
Recall the blessings you are experiencing now and give thanks for them. Express this gratitude aloud. Giving thanks even for “mundane” things such as another day of life, freedom, or the weather, can be enough to stop negativity in its tracks. Begin or end each day by writing down all the things you were grateful for that day, even if you consider it insignificant.
2. Practice saying positive affirmations aloud.
Make it part of your morning prayer, meditation practice, or routine. You may feel silly about doing this but think about how doubly silly it is to say negative things about yourself. The problem is that most of us don’t think this is silly—we think it’s normal.
It’s almost impossible to think negative thoughts when you are saying positive things. Say them as if they were true now. More often than not, you will speak a positive attitude into existence. Don’t know what to say? You can start with this extensive list of affirmations.
3. Watch your posture.
I once watched a fascinating TED talk about the power of posture. The research of Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, has found that the way we use our bodies change our minds which in turn change our behavior. Just two minutes of holding a confident posture can dramatically influence the way you think about yourself.
4. Ask friends and loved ones to hold you accountable.
The things we say to others can give them a glimpse of how we talk to ourselves. We can easily slip into belittling ourselves to others without even being aware. Ask close friends and loved ones to point this out when it starts happening.
5. Find evidence to the contrary.
If you are feeling lonely, insignificant, or unloved, try thinking of the times when you felt loved and cherished. Recognize the love that others may be showing to you right now. Personally, I experience this with my children. Sometimes, when I am feeling insignificant, it helps to recall that I am very significant to my children. And I’m probably significant to more people than I know.
We all have the ability to shape our minds and hearts by speaking what we want into existence. This is the power of self-talk. Are you willing to acknowledge it? Are you willing to use it for good?
Thanks for this Cylon,
Yes, I talk to myself and not always politely!
Good tips from you so I shall put them into practice whenever I can remember to (or when I can get a word in edgeways!)
Thanks again.
I know what you mean Zara. I’m glad the post resonated 🙂
Cylon, you are significant to me! To add to your post, I think POSITIVE self-talk is critical, especially after someone has been negative toward you. Positive self-talk is hard in general, but it is significantly harder when you’ve received negativity from others, But, oh so much more necessary in those times. I grew up with a lot of “you’ll never be able to…” “you can’t…” It was only through self-talk that I proved that individual wrong. Yeah, it may have taken me a long time, but yes, ” I CAN go to college… and guess what… I can earn a degree with a 4.0 average. So what if it took me 4 years to earn a 2 year degree, and I didn’t graduate until I was 44!” Etc. This post is so important, and I thank you for bringing it up.
Yea!! Cheering for you here. So true Eva. Positive self-talk is seen as “out there,” “crazy,” or “woo-woo.” Negative self-talk…totally normal. It’s hard to do it when we’re not feeling fine…almost impossible when we’re feeling low. But as you said, it’s precisely the time when we need it. We fall into the trap of thinking that we need to feel before we act…but acting into feeling is much more powerful, faster, and reinforcing.
Lovely Post:)
Thank you 🙂