How to Let Your Purpose Find You

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” ~ Søren Kierkegaard

Why are you here?

It’s a simple enough question.

But it’s a question that burns in your heart.

Sometimes it wakes you up at night, overwhelming you with anxiety.

Why are you here?

The question often operates just below the level of conscious thought. Your soul is desperately trying to find “the one thing” that orders your life, gives it meaning, and finally resolve the question.

But no matter how hard you try, finding your purpose remains an elusive and unending quest. And you’re terrified that you may never find the reason why you were put on this earth.

What if the way we’ve been taught to think about purpose is all wrong? What if the path to self-discovery doesn’t require so much effort, angst, or pain?

The relationship between purpose and genius

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love, delivered a TED talk a few years ago called “Your elusive creative genius.”

Though this talk was all about the creative process, the principles can be applied to purpose-finding.

Gilbert says the ancient cultures of Greece and Rome did not believe that genius came from the individual, as we tend to believe today. Instead, genius was a disembodied or divine creative spirit that

“came to human beings from some distant and unknowable source, for distant and unknowable reasons.”

This worldview protected those visited by genius from narcissism and hubris. It kept egos in check since the credit for major accomplishments went to the genius, not the person.

But the rise of individualism during the Renaissance changed the way we thought about genius. Instead of “having” genius, one was thought to “be” a genius. This shift put a heavy burden on the individual to be the source of genius rather than its transmitter. The burden distorts us in ways that are self-destructive.

In advocating for a return to some sense of “having” genius, Gilbert’s talk can give us some insight into the vexing problem of finding one’s purpose.

What if finding your purpose is actually the process of allowing your purpose to find you?

Letting your purpose find you

As we begin to think about purpose differently, here are some things to consider:

1. Your purpose is not about you

What if instead asking “What do I want out of life?” you ask, “What does life want from me?” The latter question goes against the conventional logic of starting the purpose-finding process with one’s own preferences and gifts.

Some of the most influential people who we think of as having a strong sense of purpose were swept up into circumstances beyond their comprehension or control. Many of them would not have chosen the path before them. But they were compelled by forces beyond themselves.

David Brooks, in his book The Road to Character, describes a different approach to purpose by generations past that echos the ancients’ approach to genius:

In this scheme of things we don’t create our lives; we are summoned by life…..This perspective begins with an awareness that the world existed long before you and will last long after you, and that in the brief span of your life you have been thrown by fate, by history, by chance, by evolution, or by God into a specific place with specific problems and needs.

He continues:

Your job is to figure certain things out: What does this environment need in order to be made whole? What is it that needs repair? What tasks are lying around waiting to be performed?

In other words, if you notice something that needs to be done that others aren’t noticing – or if, against your better judgement, you are moved to take action while others sit on the sidelines – the divine spirit of purpose may be trying to get your attention.

Are you willing to listen?

2. Your purpose is not about being happy

Living your purpose, contrary to popular belief, is not about pursuing happiness. It’s about being obedient to what life requires of you in the present moment.

Though Jewish psychiatrist Victor Frankl spent three years in Nazi ghettos and concentration camps, he did not bemoan the fact that his life purpose of being a doctor was taken away from him. Instead, he summoned the courage to figure out what life was asking of him the moment he lost his freedom.

According to Brooks, Frankl was being asked to do two things. His first assignment was “to suffer well” and “be worthy of his sufferings.” His second was:

to take the circumstances into which he had been put and turn them into wisdom he could take into the world. Frankl had been given a great intellectual opportunity, the opportunity to study human beings under the most horrific conditions. He had a chance to share his observations with his fellow prisoners, and, if he survived, he figured he could spend the rest of his life sharing this knowledge with the world beyond.

By taking up the tasks set before him, Frankl found something much deeper than happiness – the mood. They allowed him to experience deep meaning, and even joy, in the midst of darkness. And he spent the rest of his life teaching others the same.

What is life asking of you today?

3. Your purpose is all about surrender

Michael Singer, in his book The Surrender Experiment, shares how his amazing life unfolded when he came to the realization that his purpose was to surrender to whatever life was asking him to do in each moment.

He writes:

The scope of life is universal, and the fact that we are not in control of life’s events should be self-evident….Nonetheless, we walk around constantly trying to control and determine what will happen in our lives. No wonder there’s so much tension, anxiety, and fear.

His response to this realization? A lifelong experiment in surrender driven by this central question:

Am I better off making up an alternative reality in my mind and then fighting with reality to make it be my way, or am I better off letting go of what I want and serving the same forces of reality that managed to create the entire perfection of the universe around me?

His “surrender experiment” is not about being passive. It’s about being attentive to life’s flow. It’s about choosing to pay attention to the little coincidences, the flashes of insight, and the subtleties of our intuition.

How often have we ignored these seemingly insignificant forces in our frantic search for meaning and purpose?

Why are you here?

What would your life be like if this question no longer haunted your dreams?

What if you could live each day with deep purpose, meaning, and joy, without the anxiety producing need to plot the entire course of your life?

Don’t waste another moment obsessing about your purpose. Instead, spend each day being fully present to the reality of life unfolding in front of you.

Yes, it’s downright scary to let go – but the alternative is scarier.

So here’s the real question:

Will you keep fighting the good fight or will you take the plunge?