Reinvent Yourself in the Direction of Your Dreams

To grow toward love, union, salvation, or enlightenment, we must be moved from Order to Disorder and then ultimately to Reorder

Richard Rohr

Let’s time travel for a moment.

Imagine you’re an adolescent again. Remember how much pressure you felt from within and from your environment to make all the right decisions. To make all the right moves.

You needed to get good grades to get into a good college to get a good job. You needed to date the right person in order to live happily ever after. You needed to begin saving early for retirement.

In sum, you needed to establish a stable foundation upon which to build a stable life. The room for error felt slim. Because in this world, all it takes is one wrong move to derail your life plans. 

Fast forward to today. How did things turn out? Did you ever imagine being where you would be even if all your plans worked out perfectly? 

You may not realize it but in the course of your life, you’ve often had to adapt, regroup, and even reinvent yourself in response to external or internal changes. 

Accelerating local and global changes are forcing us to rethink life and work almost on a daily basis. No longer can we depend on a single life plan or path to carry us through. 

In today’s world, embracing the status quo is a riskier bet than embracing change.

Intentional versus unintentional reinvention

You already know the world is changing at an increasing pace. You know that you’re going to have to keep changing and adapting in order to grow and thrive. 

So the question isn’t whether you’ll need to reinvent yourself. Rather it’s “How will you reinvent yourself?” Will it be intentional or unintentional? Will it be something dreadful or an exciting adventure? 

Maybe you’ve felt a stirring in you that made you realize you’ve always wanted to try something new but were too afraid to take that step. But life is inching you to the proverbial fork in the road where you’ll need to make a decision:

The company is gradually downsizing and you see the writing on the wall.

Your kids are entering their teen years and you feel out of your depth parenting them.

Those kids move out of the house years later and you’re left with an empty nest and a spouse you hardly know.

You realize in these moments that you need to reinvent. You realize that in these moments it’s either adapt or perish but you no idea how to begin in an intentional way. 

Personal reinvention doesn’t have to be scary. It can be exciting, even thrilling and filled with opportunities that comes with getting rid of old brush to clear the way for new growth.

You can embrace this to not only survive the major transitions of life, but to vault yourself into a deeply satisfying life.

Here are set of principles to help you get there:

1. Find out what you want

This is the first and most crucial step to intentional reinvention. The truth is that many of us are terrified to examine our minds and hearts to find out what we really want. 

We’re afraid to upset the balance. We’re afraid of appearing too self-centered or grandiose. We’re afraid to revisit unfulfilled dreams.

Have the courage to try again. Who did you want to become when you were a child? What secret ambitions have you been nurturing? How is your present transitional period giving you the opportunity to do something you’ve always wanted? What’s one concrete step you can take to move in the direction of your dream?

2. Silence the inner critic

Maybe you’re thinking to yourself that you used to be more flexible but now you’re too old for something new. Or maybe you believe you’re not smart enough. Or maybe you just think it’s too late.

During times of upheaval and change, the inner critic will tell you almost anything to keep you safe, to keep you from doing something risky or “stupid.”

But in order to reinvent and transform yourself, you must silence the critic. Gently let it know that you will be ok. Let it know that you have what it takes to do something new and that something exciting is around the corner.

3. Stop paying attention to how much time you’ve wasted

We live in a time of instant gratification. We want what we want yesterday. Things have become so bad that even teenagers are having mid-life crises. 

I’ve wanted to play the cello for decades but I only took action recently after hearing the story of a retiree who took up the cello himself.

I kept thinking, “Why did I waste so much time?” “I would have been a great player by now.” That may be true, but I’m grateful I decided to do it now, and that’s what I focus on.

Furthermore, reinvention is often not a one-time snap decision. I had to undergo a series of mindset changes that took years before I could finally make the decision to pick up the cello.

As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.

4. Try on different identities even if it feels uncomfortable

We may feel like our identities are set in stone, but take some time to reflect on the arc of your life and you’ll see that your identity has changed and morphed multiple times over your life.

It’s just that it often happens so gradually that we don’t notice the changes as they are happening.

What’s your dominant identity today? A mom? A busy professional? A Minority? An introvert or extrovert? How is your dominant identity reinforced on a personal and societal level? Come up with as many other identities as you can.

Can you try on other identities you don’t naturally gravitate to for a time out of pure curiosity and experimentation? How might doing this change or challenge your thinking? How might it challenge those who have invested in your current identity? How might it help you form a new and more empowered identity for yourself?

5. Don’t wait for permission

Once you’ve decided to try something new, start taking action immediately. Don’t wait for the permission of friends, foes, or authority figures. Don’t wait for the right set of circumstances. Don’t wait until you’ve done exhaustive research. Simply begin taking action. 

Sure you’ll make mistakes along the way. Sure you’ll be criticized and talked about behind your back. But it’s ok because your loudest critics are probably feeling stuck themselves and feel threatened by your action-taking. 

In the end, you may inspire them to take action themselves. Maybe they won’t. That’s not your concern. 

Just keep moving in the direction of your dreams and only take advice from people who have successfully done the same.

6. Notice and celebrate small changes along the way

This is important because the reinvention process takes time, especially when it comes to challenging and changing deeply held assumptions and mindsets.

If you’ve been a painfully shy person your whole life, introducing yourself to two people in a social setting is a huge deal. Track and celebrate these wins along the way. They will motivate you to keep going.

7. Be prepared to do it over and over again

Reinvention is not a one-time deal. You’ll need to be prepared to adapt and adjust to the constant flow of life. If you’re open to being flexible, you’ll grow more resilient, you’ll grow more confident, and you’ll see the transitions and crises of life as opportunities for growth and new adventures.

So don’t be afraid of change. Embrace it. Use it to reinvent yourself in the direction of your dreams.