“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.” ~ Zen Proverb
Do you struggle with feeling small or insignificant?
Do you have a hard time believing or accepting the affirmations of others?
When asked to speak in public, would you rather hide?
What’s driving your lack of self-confidence? A past professional or personal failure? Genetics? Or maybe you’ve never been encouraged to explore your own gifts.
You may think that you’re living out a life sentence of invisibility. But, regardless of your past, you can break free and become a more confident person.
Here are a few tricks that you can use immediately to grow your self-confidence:
1. Decide to be more confident
You might think that you need to feel confident before you can act confident.
But if we wait around for feelings we’ll never do anything that’s good. Instead, we need to decide on what we want and then take action.
2. Practice proper body posture
Smile. Say hello. Hold your body upright. Do this regardless of how you feel.
Become aware of the way you hold your body. Do you tend to hunch over? Practice holding your shoulders back. This small change can make a world of difference.
3. Affirm yourself
Examine the things you’re telling yourself daily. Don’t allow yourself to believe the thoughts that say “I’m not smart enough,” or “I lack creativity,” or “I’m not a natural leader.”
You don’t have to believe the negative voice in your head. You can choose to ignore it. You can choose to love yourself and say affirming things instead.
4. Recognize your accomplishments, even small ones.
If you’re only able to say hello to one stranger today, celebrate it. If you successfully ignored a dark thought, celebrate that too.
Do this every day for thirty days and you’ll notice a difference in your confidence.
5. Practice self-compassion
Your insecurities are most visible to you.
We tend to see ourselves in sharp relief while we give others the benefit of soft focus. No one is more aware of your faults than you are. The critical spotlight you feel you are under is often of your own making and doesn’t reflect what others see in you.
Chances are others will be much more forgiving of these shortcomings. Instead of negatively comparing yourself to others, give yourself space to be human. Give yourself the gift of self-compassion.
6. Spend time with confident people
Who are the most self-confident people you know and admire?
Spend time with them. Observe them. Ask them questions about their daily habits and routines. Make note of how they achieve mastery, how they handle success, or how they recover from failure. And make these habits your own.
7. Know that you are not alone
No matter how insecure you feel, remember that every human being is insecure about something. We can beat long-term insecurity by lifting each other up.
Reach out for help if you need it. Reach out and help someone who feels less secure than you – and you’ll see your confidence slowly rise.
You don’t need to hide
Are you tired of hiding in your own shadow?
Are you ready to start trusting yourself?
Are you ready to show the world what you’re capable of?
Then you’re ready to stop hiding.
All you need to do is step out into the open.
Hello Cylon,
Thank you for this supportive post.
May I offer a small, but hopefully useful thought. We have an epidemic of isolation and loneliness in the UK even though we are a little country. A natural consequence is a loss of confidence amongst other things. Those who cope better do so by caring for creatures who have even less than them. They take great comfort and therefore have confidence and purpose by feeding and providing for wildlife if they can’t have pets. I’ve heard of prisoners looking after insects. As you know, it’s all reciprocal – about giving and receiving.
Hope I haven’t gone off track.
Kindest
Yes, I think our isolation is a real problem in developed nations. I don’t think we naturally associate isolation with loss of confidence but the connection is real. We are social being to our core. Thanks for sharing this perspective.
yes I isolate, “hide,” have periods of devastating self-doubt, anxiety, loneliness, lack of motivation, confusion, lack of clarity, feel inept/incapable, do not see possibility, feel trapped in a cage I made. Then feel guilty because I feel that way, talk about adding fuel to the fire.
Yep, it’s easy for us to get caught in a vicious cycle of declining self-confidence when we hide and isolate. But we can break the cycle when we reach out….this is why we need courage.