Self-Reflection Is The Key To Happiness

He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her. ~ Jesus

In our day to day living I believe that these two things, perhaps more than any other, keep us from experiencing greater joy and happiness in our lives:

1. Relationship difficulties (families, friends, co-workers, significant others, etc.).
2. Feelings of helplessness over one’s life circumstances.

What I have found is that most of us are very good at identifying all the external reasons for our difficulties. We put all the blame on others, fate, or dumb luck, hardly ever giving any thought to how we might be contributing to our own present difficulty. Instead, we become self-righteous. We double down. We assert our moral superiority.

Are you happy in your blameless state?

If not, consider this alternative: self-reflection. This is our ability to examine our own character, motives, and actions in any situation. Self-reflection is the reason why I started this blog six week ago and serves as the spiritual foundation for all I write here.

Here is what happened to me when I decided to work on my ability to self reflect:

• I stopped blaming people and external circumstances for my problems.
• I became more realistic about, and more aware of, my own strengths and weaknesses.
• I became more compassionate toward myself and others, especially those I may have conflicts with.
• I experienced greater peace knowing that I have the power to change myself, whatever the external situation.
• I grew closer to God.
• I learned to readily surrender my weaknesses to God.
• I became happier.

Ongoing self-reflection is the path to breaking the deadly affliction of self-righteousness. This has certainly been true in my own life.

Some Ways To Practice Self-Reflection:

Don’t be blameless. When experiencing conflict, always begin with the assumption that you had a part to play in the disagreement, even if you truly believe that you are completely blameless. In such situations, you may understandably think that being blameless gives you the upper hand. The truth is that when you are blameless, you have no power. You have given all your power to exert influence over you situation to your opponent or life circumstance. If you spend sometime in meditation, you will likely find something that will challenge the belief that you are blameless. Rather than seeing culpability as weakness, see it as your opportunity to change your own circumstance for the better. The greater the culpability, the bigger the opportunity.

Become mindful. Mindfulness is essentially the ability to observe yourself and environment in the present moment. Simply start to observe yourself as you are going through your day. Try to maintain the position of observer when you are in emotionally charged situations.

Practice empathy.  Developing your ability to feel with others feel will help you access your own thoughts and feelings.

Journal. Write your thoughts down on paper as you reflect. Start by asking: What within me caused my negative reaction toward that person or circumstance?

If you practice these steps you will experience greater personal power, peace, and happiness.

Jesus, saved the life of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11) by prompting self-reflection in the woman’s accusers. He did it with this simple command: “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7).

How has the power of self-reflection changed your life?