The Single Most Important Trait of the Spiritually Strong

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~ attributed to Buddha

You’re hardwired to fight fire with fire.

When you’re hurt, you naturally want to inflict equal or greater pain on the offender.

This is the core of retributive justice and the foundation upon which our society is built. We fight fire with fire because we don’t dare appear weak when we’re attacked. The ego, yearning for revenge against insult, fight to re-establish its dominance and superiority over others. But as spiritual beings, we also have another instinct that runs counter to retributive justice.

In the spiritual world, retributive justice never gives us the satisfaction we crave when we’ve been wronged. Retributive justice brings neither healing nor wholeness. In fact, it multiplies the hurt and pain – not only for others but within ourselves.

Restorative justice, on the other hand, seeks to heal instead of punish. It seeks to bring wholeness instead of creating divisions. It is the only path to lasting peace within the depths of our soul. Because love is the language of the soul, not hate. And since we are all connected each other on the level of the soul, wishing pain upon another only brings pain upon ourselves. Wishing another’s healing will hasten our own healing.

How to become spiritually strong

The topsy-turvy world of the spiritual life confounds our conventional logic. Conventional logic says that in order to be strong, one must punish, intimidate, dominate, and outperform.

The spiritually strong, on the other hand, understand the secret to true strength. They understand this simple truth:

To be strong, you must be willing to become weak.

This is the heart of the spiritual logic that has the power to free us from hate and self-destruction. This instinct is in all of us, but it must be cultivated in order to become manifest in our lives.

How can you become spiritually strong? Here are some ways to begin the process:

• Return an insult with a kind word.
• Return hatred with love.
• Be generous even when it feels like you don’t have enough for yourself.
• Be vulnerable even when it means risking rejection.
• Persevere even when you feel like quitting.
• Face your deepest fears even when you would rather engage in escapism and denial.
• Trust in God even when God is nowhere to be found.
• Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings, even when you would rather blame others.
• Cooperate even when you would rather compete.
• Let go past hurts even when you would rather cling to those hurts ever more tightly.
• Forgive even when no apology is offered.

You can survive anything

The next time you’re tempted to throw hot coals at a brother or sister, remember that to be strong, you must be willing to become weak.

It may be hard to back down in the heat of the moment, but you’ll save yourself and others from unnecessary pain and suffering.

In the end, love is what you deeply desire.

And it is this love that will allow you to get through just about anything.