The Secret to Living a Stress-Free Life

“Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.” ~ Corrie ten Boom

There’s so much at stake in our world today.

To think of all the problems we face as a society can be daunting at best and terrifying at worst.

We’re facing monumental environmental, economic, political, and social issues. Never mind all the problems and challenges we face in our everyday lives.

Maybe the threat of job loss, a wayward child, or dying marriage keeping you up at night? Have you lost your ability to just have a good laugh and enjoy any given moment? Do you feel like you just take life too seriously?

You may not know it, but your inability to relax, even in the face of major challenges may actually be contributing to you staying stuck. And it’s likely damaging your physical health and emotional wellbeing.

The stress of constantly having to look over your shoulder or be on guard for dangers eventually take its toll. It’s like constantly revving an engine. Eventually it’s destroyed from the inside out.

Giving up control

Despite all the challenges mentioned above, it’s not the challenges themselves that cause us the most pain, as painful as they can be.

No. The pain comes from bumping smack up against the reality of how little control we have over many aspects of our lives. We experience crazy intense pain when things don’t go the way we planned or expected.

The harder we try to control things, the more life shows us how little we control. We’ve become so obsessed with control that we even want to control what others think. Whereas in times past, people of different persuasions could passionately disagree on a subject but remain civil, now we can’t stand to be in the same room with people who think differently.

We desperately want to control our environment, our worldview. But the clinging is killing us. It’s killing you.

A mantra for stress-free living

This may seem a bit harsh but if you’re living a stressful life, it’s probably of your own making. In my own life, when I cling too tightly to any one thing, my stress goes way up. If I’m obsessing over my bank balance, an unexpected expense is all it takes to keep me up at night. When I look to one person to meet all my spiritual and emotional needs, one thoughtless remark is all it takes to push me over the edge. What are the obsessions that’s holding you hostage?

Want freedom from the stress? Learn this mantra:

Hold everything lightly

But what about my money? Hold everything lightly.
But what about my reputation? Hold everything lightly.
But what about my career path? Hold everything lightly.
But what about my kids? Hold everything lightly.
But what about my religion? Hold everything lightly.
But what about my views about Republicans? Hold everything lightly.
But what about…? Hold everything lightly.

When I say everything, I mean everything.

You may be thinking, “How can I hold my kids lightly? What does that even mean?” or “How can I hold my religion lightly? I’m no relativist.”

Rest assured, this mantra is not about promoting the philosophy of “everything goes” nor is it and encouragement to stop caring about the things that matter most to you. It’s about keeping your expectations with regard to all these things in check.

It’s remembering that though you may experience your children as extensions of yourself, they are not you. They have their own minds, behaviors, tendencies, and opinions that will frequently contradict your own worldview. Recognizing this early on can mitigate needless suffering.

And how many countless people have “lost their faith” because they couldn’t properly manage their expectations about religion. When the pastor is caught having an affair or someone from the community treats you poorly, do you just walk away from it all? Holding your religion lightly actually reduces that possibility rather than increases it.

You’re not taking any of it with you anyway

Here’s the truth.

When you die, you’re not going to take any of the things you cling to with you anyway. You’re going to have to let go sooner or later.

Wouldn’t you rather let go by choice rather than have God pry your fingers open?

When you choose the former, you’ll find yourself much less stressed out about the state of the world or your life.

When you learn to give up control, you’ll paradoxically see beyond your expectations, toward the possibilities and solutions that have eluded you all along.