Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself? ~ Tao Te Ching.
You’ve reached out to a friend by email or text message and a few days have passed with no reply. You start to get anxious. Your mind starts going a hundred different places: Did I do something to offend them? Did they decide to end our friendship? Is she alright? Should I wait or try to contact him again? Why do I feel angry or hurt because he did not get back to me immediately?
Or what happens to you when your significant other asks for a little space? Or when your business associate abruptly cancels a lunch meeting? Or when your son or daughter wants to be alone?
It’s interesting how we tend to default to the worst case scenario when these things happen to us. In a world of Facebook and Twitter, we have been trained to crave realtime feedback. We demand answers. Now. Waiting is not an option.
But every so often we are reminded that we cannot eliminate waiting from the natural order of things. Sometimes we just have to wait.
So, what should you do while you wait? If you find yourself spiraling into negative thinking, consider these points for reflection:
What is the “mud” that is clouding your judgement? What fears and insecurities is this situation stirring up? It’s hard for us to be reflective in the heat of the moment. We naturally wonder about what is going on in the other person. The key to waiting well is to get in touch with what is going on inside ourselves. Consider that the anxiety you feel is not based on reality but on your personal internal struggles.
Can you give others the benefit of the doubt? Maybe they forgot to show up. Maybe they are experiencing a hardship that you are unaware of. Maybe they really just needed some space, nothing more.
Instead of finding comfort in assuming the worst, can you dare to hope for the best? Take the risk. It’s worth it, even when you are occasionally let down.
Can you trust that things will work out for the best? Sometimes I find myself thinking: “What if that one thing had worked out just the way I wanted it to? Would I be where I am today?” More often than not when I look back, I realize that I experienced a blessing in disguise.
Can you have the strength to give people the space they need? We all feel pressured in our daily lives. We need space from all our texting, email checking and social media usage. I meet more and more people who are telling me that they are cutting back on social media, or reducing how often they check email as a way of managing their stress levels. By giving others time to respond, you are honoring their decision to step back.
Can you find peace in doing nothing, in simply waiting? The truth is that you may never get a satisfactory explanation. Can you be at peace with that?
Psalm 27:14 says: “Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage.” May we have the courage to patiently wait.