What to Do When Someone Says No

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Remember the days when you tried your hand at selling something?

Girl scout cookies. Cookie dough. Candy bars.

You knock on door after door trying to sell your wares. You’re not very confident or self-assured. You do your best to sell your first product but you’re greeted with a big fat NO.

You feel devastated. Your confidence tanks.

After the second or third “no” you decide to throw in the towel. You vow you’ll never sell again.

There is only one problem. You’re always selling. And what’s the product? You.

Today, rejection may not come in the form of slammed doors. Instead, it may be your boss turning down your proposal for a new product. Or the love interest not calling you back. Or the Facebook post that garners a handful of likes.

Rejection is part of being human. Instead of hiding from it, we can use rejection to propel our personal and spiritual growth.

Here are a few tips to help you next time you’re told no:

1. Remember that the world owes you nothing

It’s hard to admit, but the times when “no” hurts me the most are the times when I’m feeling most entitled. It’s the days when I expect to hear “yes” on the first try. The times when I expect to hear “yes” with the least amount of effort. It’s also the times when I expect to hear “yes” after putting in a lot of effort.

Seth Godin once wrote this on his blog:

“The universe, it turns out, owes each of us very little indeed. Hard work and the dangerous commitment to doing something that matters doesn’t get us a guaranteed wheelbarrow of prizes… but what it does do is help us understand our worth.”

This message might seem a little harsh – but it’s ultimately freeing and empowering. Godin is saying that our worth comes not in the reactions of others, but in our willingness to feel worthy in the face of rejection. Remembering the world owes you nothing gives you the courage to keep doing what you’re called to do.

2. Don’t hesitate to get your second no

Jia Jiang is a young entrepreneur who was terrified by rejection – until he decided to do a little experiment. For 100 days, he purposely made requests that virtually no one would agree to. By the end of the experiment, he was no longer afraid if the word “no.”

I’d bet that many of us quit after the first “no.” But those who are successful in every measurable way persist through hundreds, even thousands of “no’s.” Why? Because they know the next “yes” is usually hiding at the end of a long string of “no’s.”

3. Let no guide you to your calling

Each time you’re greeted with a “no,” examine your response. If you quit without a second thought, then there’s a good chance the you’re not called to pursue that particular activity.

However, if you’re willing to push through all the “no’s,” then you may have stumbled upon your calling. But there’s a paradox because this “stumbling” requires a conscious choice. The truth is that anything worth doing will not come easily. Will you choose to commit or quit?

Will you choose to commit or quit?

Don’t let no keep you from what you really want

Do you imagine what it’s like to be fearless?

Do you wish you had the courage to ask – even if you feel the answer is almost certain to be no?

Do you dream of finally pursuing what you really want?

Then it’s time to bravely face the “no’s” on your path. Use them as seeds to your growth and success.

Because the “no’s” are not nearly as scary as settling for status quo.