Wisdom From Two Important Mothers in my Life

My wife Laura and our daughter Imogen

On this Mother’s Day, I want to take an opportunity to share some wisdom I learned from two important mothers in my life.

My Mom

The first is my own mom. Her example and love have taught me much about sacrifice and selfless giving to another. She made sure me and my three siblings were well fed, clothed, educated, and mannered. She taught us moral and spiritual values. And if all that weren’t enough, she spent time with us and loved us.

I would not be who I am today without my mother. Here are three pieces of wisdom she taught me:

1. Don’t go with the flow

I always remember her telling me to be suspicious of the path everyone else is taking. It was my first lesson in critical thinking. I took that lesson to heart early on. It didn’t make me the most popular guy in school but it did keep me from going down some potentially dangerous paths. I am most grateful.

2. Tend to your spiritual life

Mom made sure we were at Mass every Sunday, whether we wanted to go or not. But she went further. Mom encouraged me to develop my own prayer life and my personal relationship with Christ. Her own faith was, and still is a powerful example.

Developing my interior life has given me strength to face the tough times with grace and to know that I am loved, even when I mess up.

3. Develop your unique gifts

Mom made sure we learned the things we needed to know. She followed up on my homework assignments to make sure they were done. She made sure I went above and beyond what was expected of my teachers.

She also gave me freedom to develop my own gifts. When mom noticed that I gravitated to piano after taking clarinet lessons for a few years, she promptly found me a piano teacher and got me a little keyboard. When she saw that my interest was more serious than the little keyboard could handle, she bought a brand new upright piano! Even at fourteen or fifteen I knew that this was a big sacrifice she was making for me. I will never forget it.

My Wife

The other important mother in my life is my wife, Laura. She is an amazing mother to our children and she inspires me to be the best father I can be. Laura was interviewed and featured on Design Mom. Here is a touching excerpt of what she shared (check out the link to read the whole interview and to get a tour of our home):

When we’re wrapped up in parenting and trying to get through the next moment, it’s so easy to forget that the broken, failing person that one feels like at times is not the person your child sees. On nights when I’m laying in bed staring at the ceiling and telling Cylon how it feels like I did a terrible job that day, my kids aren’t laying in their beds thinking about what a horrible mom I was. Every day we have to trust that grace is going to give us a chance to do it again and fix the rough edges.

I know that I have shared these feelings as a dad. It’s one of the hardest parts about raising kids. Here are two takeaways for me:

1. Be kind to yourself

When I fall short, it is amazing how I can quickly jump to the conclusion that I am the worst person in the world. This may be true in my own world but often it is not true for others.

2. Don’t give up

Life is messy. We are not perfect. Every day is a new chance to try again. Sometimes we have to try many times before we get it. Don’t let that fact discourage you, just keep trying.

Love and Sacrifice

From both these mothers, I learned that love requires incredible sacrifice. In the blog interview. Laura’s response to this question “What has surprised you the most about being a mom?” was this:

The thing that surprised me is that part no one can explain – the selflessness and personal growth parenting requires. My kids make life so much richer because they are a constant reminder of all that is going on in the world outside my own head. Teaching them and learning from them is so hard, but so good.

When we love, we are freed from the prison of our own world. This is why we need each other.

To my mother and my wife, thank you for loving me unconditionally.

I love you.